My grandma is nearing her death soon. It could be tonight. It could be tomorrow. I had a feeling that it would be. I also prayed to see her one last time tomorrow. I visited her on Sunday evening with Lily and Iris. She was still talking and able to communicate. She said at the end after I said we would come visit her again, "I will be waiting for you. I will be waiting for you. Grandma Lolly loved you. I will be waiting for you. Grandma Lolly loves her". She asked what my girls names again, and she loves touching River's hands and feet. She said he was a beautiful boy. My mom said that grandma told her that if she were in her own house, she would be doing better. She missed her freedom and independence.
I got an impression on Tuesday to do an energy work session for her. I felt that I had permission to do it for her and she wanted me to. So as soon as I started, I felt this "Hi Susan" from my grandma. I could feel her spirit there. She spent some time here and then left. I don't remember much that I cleared except a despair anchor of longing for freedom again and missing grandpa. I released some pain and physical trauma. But really, it was to help her pass on at peace.
Grandma Wright, as I grew up calling her always remembered out birthday and sent a card with some $. I remember her an grandpa wright would drive across country to come visit us. Grandpa Wright had the bigget smile all the time and would poke at grandma. She would respond slightly irritated. She had a soft, kind voice. She had a lower energy to her. Every time we would visit her, she would offer us food, a small portion, and always ice cream at the end. She loved having us visit. Her house wa filled with family pictures, paintings, and things she loved from every holiday (especially after grandpa died). She started losing her memory and would repeatedly ask what my kids names were. I regret not visiting her more. I lived so close to her. Being in PP mode made doing a lot of things difficult. I remember looking at her calendar, and she wrote down everything in her big calendar on her desk. She also had a journal where she wrote every day in it. She loved her yard. We would go sit outside in her yard and talk and chat as she held my littles. When I was single, she flew to my house with me. That was interesting. I honestly don't remember much from it. It was the last time she was in IL for christmas.
I had an impression yesterday and today I needed to visit her. I am so glad I did. She was not awake though. she was sleeping with her head leaning back, her mouth wide open with loud raspy breathes. It was me, Iris, River, mom, dad, and Sarah. We each said a prayer. Iris sad 2 prayers.
"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless this day so we can have a good night sleep. Please bless this day. Help grandma to come visit us at our house..as an angel...Heavenly father Christ amen"
The 2nd prayer: "Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day so we can have a good night sleep. Please help grandma to visit all our houses...? Heavenly father, christ amen"
I went back on Friday, Feb 28th after I dropped Iris off at school. I sat in the room for about 20-30 min. My heart longed to be able to have a conversation with her. To ask her about her life. What she loved about it. What her regrets were. That's something I didn't fully do. We'd visit her and talk for a bit, but it never got deep. I wanted to stay. I didn't know how many hours she had left. The nurse told me she really broke her hip, but they don't do x-rays with hospice patients. She was comfortable. And it had been about 3 days since she had spoken. She passed away a little after 12 pm. I left a little before 11. I'm glad I went to visit 3 times with week. I miss her.
The intersting thing about watching a loved one slowly die is that its so gradual (at least in this case). Her body was slowly shutting down, but it was happy. As an energy healer, I muscle tested how much of her spirit was in her body, if it was happy, if it needed anything released etc. If you consider all that woowoo, just ignore this part. You'd be surprised. But when I tested, her body was happy, broken hip and all. Like it knew that it was the end. Not her spirit, but her body knew. And it was proud of how it had supported her all those years. She longed for freedom again. She missed my grandpa and I knew he was there waiting for her. When I left, I muscle tested that 10% of her spirit was really in her body. I felt her wanting me to stay, and I wanted to.
Who really wants to be trapped in a room, alone, not able to move? Not me. My mom called and told me she passed away after I picked Iris up from school. My heart feels sad, but not grief. Melancholy for the connecting opportunities I missed. This was all in God's timing. I had a dream last night where there were angels surrounding her welcoming her to the other side and her spirit was light and vibrant holding hands with my grandpa walking up to heaven. I imagine that's how it was. '
Just like birth is a miracle, so is watching a loved one peacefully move on to the other side.
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