It is amazing how one incident as slipping on the ice could affect one so much. Literally. We don't realize how convenient it is having 2 arms and hands.
Sunday, Feb 19th
On Sunday night, at about 9 pm we were leaving Eller's house and it had just snowed. I was carrying Juniper in my left hand and Iris in my right arm and I was wearing my church boots, which had no traction. I slipped in the snowy ice and I couldn't break my fall. I landed with a direct hit onto my right elbow. I knew that something was not right with my elbow right immediately. I got a blessing from Creighton and the Ellers. It said that I would make a full recovery as I sought professional advice. I could not feel the bone of my elbow. It felt like it was a soft spot filled with fluid.
It was painful on and off with sharp twinges of pain in the car ride. There were no instacares open at 9:30 pm on a Sunday evening. Colleen came over and put the girls to bed while Creighton and I went to the ER by my house. After some x-rays and a lot of waiting, I found out that I broke my elbow for sure and that I would also need surgery to fix this. This was not the miracle I was hoping for. The x-ray itself show a large opening in my elbow down the joint. I still had a hard time saying, I would need surgery. What I wanted to say was, I might need surgery. It was late. I was tired as was Creighton. This was very discouraging for me. I felt like a horrible person for this even happening. And I felt guilty because of the financial burden this would put my family in. I truly felt like a bad person. And then we weren't sure about the house again. And I was worried about the extra stress this would add to my husband. The put a cast on my arm keeping it in a 90 degree angle and sent me home with instructions to call in the morning to meet with the hand specialist the recommended. Colleen left me house around midnight and comforted me as much as she could at the moment. I only took 1 IBP on Sunday night. My arm was casted and protected now, but it was still broken. .
Monday, Feb 20th
Monday morning, I felt discouraged because how could this happen? I put up a FB post, and many people responded and reached out to me asking how they could help. And the fact is, I did not know. I felt such despair and Did not feel like I could really accept help. But there were prayers and those prayers were answered.
And my sisters prayed for me on Monday morning and shortly after they prayed for me my friend Anna came over, she was my mission companion and cook and fold clothes, and change diapers. And she's had health issues going on herself. But she was so willing to help me. And I didn't know that my sister's prayed for me to be in little pain and I was a very little pain considering the injury I had obtained. They prayed that somebody would be there to help me, and Anna came to help me period and lots of other people offered. After Anna left, I felt more at peace and not as discouraged. Prayers are answered and heard. Monday was also President's Day, and as a result most doctors offices were closed, making it a day were I could not make headway on this arm thing.
Tuesday, Feb 20th
I found a doctor after several calls and internet searching that could get me in that day at the UoU orthopedic center. I met with a doctor who confirmed that I needed surgery. "This is not one of those gray areas. It is black and white.." I felt that peace at that doctor's appointment and felt that the doctors was very thorough help me. . And my gut feeling confirmed what he said. They referred me to another doctor so that I could get surgery sooner..
Wednesday, Feb 21st
The next day I went to meet with Dr. Higgins. Marion Smith drove me to the hospital for that appointment. It was great being able to to get to know her better. And he wasn't as thorough with me partly because he was referred doctor and already had all the notes. Anxiety started kicking in and I cried in the doctor's office. The surgery schedule didn't know what to do. Dr. Higgins came back into the room and I know that he he wanted to answer all my questions and wanted to be thorough with me. But I was emotional and I my mind was blank. But I knew that he would do a good job and lots of people said that he was amazing.
More people brought meals on Tuesday and Wednesday. Sharon and the bishop came by on Wednesday and talk to me and told me that I would be very tired, and I replied, " really? Well I really be tired?" The fact is I didn't really understand how tired I would feel and the pain that I would feel. You don't really know pain until you feel it. I got more Anxious as it got closer to my surgery. Wednesday night, my elbow was getting more achy and I felt grateful that I was going to get it fixed.
Thursday Feb 22nd
This was supposed to be our closing on the house day, but turned into SURGERY day! Thursday morning morning Creighton's mom got to our house. I nursed Juniper and got ready to go. I took a shower, all by myself, including putting on the plastic bag and shampooing my own hair. But I was nervous. I wanted Creighton there at the surgery so Creighton's Mom watch the girls with my friend Victoria, who came with her kids to help with the baby. Another miracle that happened is that a friend from BYU Hawaii donated 120 oz of milk that she had pumped so that lessened to my stress of juniper having milk that she would need. It happened to be the one day a month that she works in Downtown SLC and the timing worked out so well. No doubt this was a needed miracle.
When we got to the hospital I got registered and checked in. And they were all very nice. And I went to my room, put on the hospital gown. That wasn't comfortable. Creighton was there with me and he was very sweet. He made me laugh and joked around pretending to be a doctor. We had to wait an extra hour and a half to do the surgery, which was kind of excruciating because I was feeling impatient. The nurse that put in the IV was very kind . I close my eyes when she did it and that helped because getting things poked is one of my fears. And it wasn't as bad as I expected. Creighton was joking around I felt very goofy we joked about having other surgeries, like having a lizard tongue surgically added or unicorn horns and other random things. So when it came time to go.
They wheeled my hospital bed to the operating room. The operating room was very white and cold. But I wasn't cold because I had a warm blanket. I was feeling a bit anxious. They put the oxygen mask on me, and told me that they were going to put me to sleep. I just remember thinking, "I don't want to do this I do not want to do this". The next thing I knew I was in the recovery room. It was that feeling of not knowing where you are and waking up with a blurry view of doctors in sight. There, I could have ice chips. I was so hungry that I wanted to eat. since I had not eaten for over 12 hours.. But at that point I could only have ice chips. They did the nerve block, which I would have not done had I known it how much it would cost. I was so tired I can't even describe how tired I was. I could not keep my eyes open. And I definitely could not feel my arm.
Then they brought me to the Next Room where Creighton would meet me and we would get are leaving instructions and get the IV's taken out. The nurse told me that I wouldn't remember anything and I don't remember all that much from it. I got to eat some snacks and that was nice. I did go to the bathroom which is a really good thing because you don't want your bladder to explode. But that point I couldn't feel any pain. Coming home it was nice to see my girls again. Juniper missed me so much and she wanted me to breastfeed her and I couldn't. That was really hard for her. Mimi said that she kept looking for me. And she wouldn't take a bottle. I got her to take a bottle, but she was not happy about it. And I did see that another tooth just broke in on the top tooth. All day Thursday and part of Friday, I had no pain. And that was so nice. But I was losing feeling in my hand so much that it was like my hand wasn't mine and my arm was really floppy.
I guess like I could move my spirit hand but my physical hand was not moving I was like a slinky like if I'm trying to move my elbow back my hand stayed there and that kind of felt like the movement of a slinky. It was weird. I couldn't even move my hand. We called the doctor that night to make sure it was okay and normal. Fast forward to today, which is Friday the 23rd. I am in pain and I just kind of excruciating. My hand is swollen. My hand is achy and my elbow hurts. But people are still helping me and it's really is helping. Victoria came by this morning and helps feed the chickens. She helped sweep and it was really nice to get back in touch with her. and John my cousin also came by and we chatted and she brought my kids to her house. I prayed that Juniper will take the milk and eat enough and not be fussy. And she did!
The fact is that having surgery is not fun and it is painful. And the timing couldn't have been more inconvenient. But what I'm learning from this is that God is here for me and and people really do care about me and my family. They are looking out for me. They are bringing meals, helping with my kids, helping with my house, and just checking on me to see how I'm doing. Creighton is also being very helpful and I'm grateful for that. I want the pain to go away and I want to be done with this healing process, but I am grateful that are now on a healing process now. I knew the pain would not last forever and that I will be okay.
February 23rd
This was the most painful day. My elbow and arm were throbbing. I was grateful that the surgery was DONE, and that my arm was finally on the mend. But seriously, the pain was intense the day after surgery. Angelle, my cousin took the girls for me so I cold rest and I so needed that. My sisters were worried about me being alone, but it felt good to be alone and rest. I took the narcotics this day because of the intensity of the pain.
We had to sign the documents for BUYING a house. The day after surgery! That is crazy. It is not something I wish upon anyone. I am right handed and there was no way I could sign with my right hand. So I signed everything with my left hand and it looked more like a squiggle. But the pain duing this meeting was unbearable. I am pretty sure I cried and winced in pain during the car ride.
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