The Craziness of constant change during pregnancy
I believe that there are 9 months in pregnancy for good reasons. Not only for the little child to grow and to develop, but also for the mother and the family to prepare for the arrival of that child. This pregnancy was different than my first 2. One big reason I believe is that we have been at a very transitional point in our lives.
Creighton finished his masters degree in Social Work last May, and he had a temporary job last summer, which meant that we knew we needed to move, and we needed to figure out our next step. When I found out I was pregnant, it was shortly before the move. So there were many unknowns, which can definitely be scary.
We moved to my parents house in September, where I had prenatal care provider #2. One thing that was so helpful for me was getting a YMCA membership. There, Creighton and I could work out and have a sitter for our girls and it gave me back an outlet so I could release stress and improve my emotional stability in a healthy way. There, Creighton studied for his licensing exam while I took care of the kids. It still felt like there was no time to really focus on the pregnancy.
The holidays came and went. Creighton left for Utah to start a job and look for housing for our family. We were in IL while Creighton was in Utah for just over a month. I used that time to improve myself from the inside. I focused on doing meditation, yoga, scripture reading, and more meaningful prayer EACH night. And it was huge. My patience levels increased and I felt more spiritually connected to God. It was then that I had some personal preparation for what was to come as far things I needed to do to for labor and even forewarning with some trials I would face. I actually had a weekly routine at this time and that was nice.
Creighton flew out to IL in February and Lily and Iris were so happy to see daddy. It was a wonderful reunion for our family. We drove out to Utah and stayed with Creighton's aunt and uncle in Lehi. And it felt like we were back at square 1, and we were in transition all over again... while I was 7 months pregnant. I had the hardest time choosing a midwife. There were 2 that I really wanted and they both felt so right. Through prayer, I knew there was not a wrong choice, which made it harder. I finally made a choice and accepted not having the other midwife. I knew I wanted to have a home birth. That was certain.
My goal for labor and delivery:
It was not going into labor as soon as I hit 40 weeks. It was not set on a timeline. What I wanted was a short, peaceful, well progressing labor with the baby in the right position. I wanted my body and spirit and energies to be a place where it could be a smooth labor with less pain, healthy outcome of me and baby.
Meditation:
I meditated throughout my pregnancy and did yoga a lot of it. I practiced kundalini yoga meditation, which helped with patience, fears, mental clarity, prosperity, chakra balancing etc. Many questions I had were answered as I did meditate. I also sought spiritual direction, and I felt that there were many times where I received incite that would help me with delivery.
Natural Birth conference:
It was here that I learned that the larynx/ aka the throat is directly connected to the cervix. If your throat is tight in labor, which indicates stress and tension, so is your cervix. I learned that low moans and sounds to open the throat help to open the cervix. This was a tool I wanted to use while in labor, which I did and it helped to lower pain. I also learned to write my birth story before it happened. I did that and wrote how smoothly and how fast it went and how well it went. I write it believing that this would happen.
Prenatal Yoga, getting settled, and Strengthening marriage
We moved into out apartment mid-February, which was still transitional because we needed to paint and make our home a home. And with the lack of exercise with moving, getting settled, it being cold outside, lack of a routine schedule, and shifting of jobs, it was harder emotionally for me. I felt that I needed to make my home a HOME.
But, I started to have regular prenatal appointments with my midwife and that brought peace. With insurance issues, this was a blessing because we are paying out of pocket. I also started to go to prenatal yoga every week with the other midwife that I wanted at my birth and that at least gave me an hour a week of not watching my girls, relaxation, and emotional release, and a good start to get my body ready for labor. We went to a marriage strengthening seminar called royalty in romance by 3 key elements. That was also really helpful because it helped C. and I to get more in sync and unified and gave us new tools to deal with our "emotional junk" and to help ourselves without dumping it on the other person. I feel it is so important to strive to have that unity in a marriage to keep in rolling in the right direction. That affects birth and labor, even though many do not connect the two.
Exercise
Even though I was about 38 weeks pregnant, I bit the bullet and got a VASA gym membership. They have babysitting! And my girls do well with that and it is a good facility. I am so glad I did because it gave me somewhere to go each morning/ got me out of the house, where I could have some me time so that I can be a better mommy. At the gym, I did a lot of the yoga exercises I learned, strength training with light weights, balance, meditation, pelvic floor exercises, Tulpler technique, and swimming. My goal was to do what felt good for my body, open space up for the baby to be in a good position, and help my body be ready for labor. I went 4-5 times a week up until giving birth. And when I was 41 weeks, I could tell that it was getting closer to baby being born because I didn't feel the need to get cardio in, all I really wanted was to stretch, do pelvic floor exercises while visualizing my cervix opening like a flower, meditation, and circles on the ball. That is what I did Thursday before giving birth.
I should add this: After I swam laps at the pool, I would ut my legs in the hot tub and it was so relaxing. There are often older men there. There were a few comments that showed me their perception of labor and birth.
"Please don't have your baby now, wait 15 minutes.." (You would know if I was in labor and maybe their perception of child birth is panic and all of a sudden? I don't know)
"How long do they wait until they will do a C-section?" (its interesting that it was assumed that I would have a C-section)
"If you give birth now, I will friek out.." (Again, you would KNOW if I was in labor)
Acupuncture:
I knew I wanted to try acupuncture this time around. I got a recommendation from my midwife- Bea Hammond. I first went shortly before 40 weeks to address emotional issues that were stuck concerning labor and birth. Things like fearing contractions, my body opening up... again. It was amazing because while I was resting, all these positive thoughts about labor and birth were running through my mind. How I welcome each contraction because it brings me closer to baby. How contractions are good thing! Being excited for the next contraction. My body knows exactly what to do.. etc. I left feeling so good and like I could breathe again, when I didn't realize that it was even a struggle before. And the whites of my eyes were brighter.
When I was 1 week past due, I went back in for the induction points. This experience was still good but different. This time, it came to my awareness that one of my fears was going from 2 to 3 kids, that I would forget the good times and how it was with 2. So I started talking myself into believing and trusting that this is a good thing. That it will bring MORE joy to my family. This helped to increase my braxton hicks contractions. I had this done Tuesday before giving birth.
Footzone:
On Thursday the 6th, I went and had a footzone done by my friend. I needed that footzone. I feel like it really helped to get my body back in sync, realignment, and balance. It was just what I needed.
Overcoming fears:
I was working on letting go of fears and anxieties regarding labor and delivery through these different techniqes and it helped prepare me for a good labor. There was one more thing that I was worried about- recovery. I know that it takes time for a woman's body to recover enough to get back to normal activities so that bleeding decreases and the body can fully heal. But you have 2 kids, ages 3 and 1, how can one rest? And work and corporations often don't allow paternal leave for more than a few days or a week. So coming home from yoga and talking to my angel neighbor, she volunteered to help me with this and with her help, I was at peace and I knew this was the last piece of worry that needed to be taken care of. And not more than 5 hours after it was, my body went into labor.
My conclusion:
Pregnancy is a journey. Labor and delivery is a journey of it own. It takes time and preparation to really be ready for labor physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually no matter the type one is planning. I really feel that the preparation that I did put in helped my body be ready, helped with progression before labor, helped the baby lower into a great position earlier, and helped me emotionally during labor. No matter what your circumstance is, the health complications, do what you can to prepare so you are at peace and know what you want ahead of time.
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