Warning: This is long and full of partly organized thought. Read if you dare:
I am not a great writer, but there are some thoughts that are floating around in my mind. It is interesting looking back on life, the people I've met, and the things I've done. As is says in the book of Jacob, life really is like a dream.
Jacob 7:26: "... by saying that the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers, cast out from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our brethren, which caused wars and contentions; wherefore, we did mourn out our days."
Doesn't it feel like this? With our missions, school, vacations? Its over and then I think, did that really happen? We've all felt alone, cast out, had trials, and contention in family relationships.
Everything and everyone has influenced me in some way. It seems like just yesterday I was at Utah State starting me freshman year of college. All of a sudden, I realize that I served a mission, graduated, married, and even more adventures soon to come... Not only that, I've become more experienced as a personal trainer and as an Emotion Code/Body Code Practitioner. I've often contemplated and entertained the thought, "if I had known then what I know now..." What would I have changed or done differently. But really, Its through all those experiences and mistakes that I have greater understanding. I am grateful for the lessons I've learned along the way.
1. I am unique,special, talented, and loved.
I am unique, and I am glad that I am different from anyone I know. This world has so many people in it. I've met innumerable amounts of people, and they have all been unique, talented, and special in their own way. I used to compare myself to others ( and sometimes catch myself doing that today). "They are prettier, more liked, more loving, more beautiful on the inside and outside, have a better relationship or marriage, have everything going for them..." I've thought it all. I know and feel now that despite my life challenges, I have a great life. I have talents that allow me to me charitable and to help people. I've expanded on talents that I was poor at before. If I don't feel accepted or really loved, I am so much better at not taking it personally. Its okay if someone doesn't try and get to know me. I am still me and I am still valuable, and there is nothing that will change that. I am a daughter of God, and I know that he sees my potential. He has given me blessings and talents so I can help others. I am still in the learning process of many talents, but I am walking down right road. I am unique, valuable, and loved. And so are you.
2. We can be our worst enemies.
Have you met someone that was so down on themselves, that it brought more sorrow? I have, and I've been there. Negative self talk is extremely destructive to one's self-esteem. Its hard to go through, and its hard to see loved ones going through it. There is a scripture that I love:
Ephesians 6: 11-16
"Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the whiles of the devil. Fore we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principles, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole Armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth...and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace: faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked..."
Through recent experiences and becoming more acquainted with energy healing, I realize MORE how much power Satan has. His darkness is real and he uses MANY tools to bring unhappiness. When we struggle and think negative thoughts about ourselves or others, he uses that as an opportunity. Negative thoughts are placed into the mind by dark entities, and that's why we need to think positive. It repels Satan, and prevents him from taking advantage of moments that could be self-destructive. Negative thinking and positive thinking is a choice, but can be harder when we are already in the habit. It has taken me years to become better with this. I still have work to do, but it feels great to see outside the bubble of self-wallow and sorrow, and realize that everything is okay and will work out for the best. It is such a blessing to overcome.
3. I can do hard things, and make weaknesses stronger.
Have you had a time where you felt like giving up? Did life just seem too hard? I know the feeling. I've felt overwhelmed, alone, frustrated, stuck in life, hopeless... etc. I've had trials that seemed like they would be impossible to get through, and that no one would really understand. I still have trials that feel like that. BUT, I finally feel that I am starting to overcome this. I've had some tough moments in life and marriage, that I've been able to see a glimpse of light through a dark cloud.
This quote really helps me and has strengthened me in hard times:
"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say this to myself very morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will never forsake us... If we put our trust in Him, if we will pray to him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, He will hear our prayers."
President Gordan B Hinkley
I am striving for greater emotional control, which I've seen a difference in the last 2 years. Before, tough classes were a HUGE struggle for me, especially Chemistry. With the right attitude, putting time into studying, and learning the best ways for me to study, I got a B in both Chem 105 and 106. Who knew I could get an A on a test until I had to go through and learn the process. We are not given trials we cannot handle. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Rely on the Lord, and have a positive attitude, It may be hard now, but it will become easier.
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